The Here and Now

Most of us exist in a fast paced world, and if you think you don’t, I hope you’re right. The rat race tends to get the best of us even on our good days. We hardly ever take the chance to sit on our porch and breathe in the day, because we spend so much time preparing for tomorrow. This life has taught us that if you’re not working or moving, you’re not living…you’re not taking the right advantage of the time.

I came across a quote this week that explained this need humans have to always be looking toward the future, and worrying about the next step they need to take in building their lives…

“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.” – Eckhart Tolle

In a world where the next thing is the best thing, and enough is never enough, can we find peace?

Yes.

It takes a while to understand that you only completely exist at one point in time, right now. Yesterday you were your past self, tomorrow you are your future self, but today you’re you.

If we accept that we fully exist in this moment, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, we can actually experience life in real-time rather than experience it in a serious of past memories and future dreams.

Laugh about it now…and later….but definitely now.

Today you can be everything you weren’t yesterday and everything you want to be tomorrow. All it takes is a change in perspective. There are so many past moments that we get hung up on, and so many future moments that we anticipate. Yesterday you were excited for today, so enjoy it…you don’t always have to be thinking about tomorrow.

0d8ddc8a6f642aaf84ffcc4551e485ffWe are so busy  filling our calendars that we forget to enjoy where we are. Sometimes it’s nice to just relax and watch the wind blow by. Be sure to stop and smell the sunflowers, wake up one day without a “to do” list. Go with the flow once in a while.

Obviously, you’ll never move forward if you never think ahead but, think about now too. Enjoy the goals you’ve accomplished, and the pursuit of new ones. Take in every moment of your life while you’re living it. Life is so beautiful it’s worth looking back on and remembering but, be sure to live in those moments while you’re in them.

Try not to tarnish what will soon be the past with the plans of the future. Don’t mix up time and life, you’ve got a whole lot of life… just not a whole lot of time. You won’t be able to remember it all, and you certainly won’t be able to prepare for it all…the only thing you can do is live it all. Make sure you embrace and enjoy right now, because it will join the memories of yesterday all too soon.

Never forget to cherish the journey, it’s just as important as the destination.

xS

Friendships With the Half-Hearted

When people leave our lives, it can hurt. Some people leave and it’s a quick burn, like grabbing onto a frying pan when it’s still too hot. Others leave an ache in your heart that is lasting and constant. In all of these departures, friendly and unfriendly, there is always disappointment.

We are always striving to do more, to be more, and to give more. But, we hardly ever hold our friends accountable for letting us down. We often forget to examine our friendships in the same way we examine what kind of friend we are. Are the people in our lives meeting the same standards we have for ourselves?

We hold onto people because of our history with them or because we feel like we need to take care of them. We hope that there will come a time when the friendship is no longer half-hearted or that they listen to understand and not to respond. Sometimes, it just can’t get there.

With these one-sided friendships there comes a point where you have to let go of people who were never holding onto you. When they decide that their time and attention would be better spent elsewhere don’t take it as an insult, take it as a chance to widen your circle and replace the energy.

Our view gets clouded by people who are only in our lives for their own benefit, it makes Dead Flowersit hard to keep up with other friendships when you don’t see what the rest of the world sees. In your own time, you will master the art of weeding out the dead flowers. There’s no sense in wasting water on them.

There is a teaching in buddhism about how an evil friend is worse than a wild beast, “wild beasts wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind”. Having  even one draining friendship only holds you back from finding people who will last in your life. People who will give as much as they get. People who will never take advantage of you or your story. People who will build with you, not just because of you.

I struggled for a long time before I understood that there can be good in goodbyes. I took every failed friendship like a shot to the chest when in reality, it was dead weight being lifted. Sometimes it takes a while to realize some people just aren’t for you. Their energy will never match yours and their spirit will never inspire you. That’s okay.

Focus your attention on those that bring you peace, people who you can rely on in your worst moments.  The climate of your life is not fit for all flowers, even the ones you take care of year after year in the hopes that they’ll bud. Surround yourself with friends who never make you feel used, and water relationships that you know will grow.

And as always, make sure there are a few sunflowers in your garden, souls like sunflowers can grow anywhere.

xS